Religion of Correction
The modern-day mentality of bringing correction presents an eerie reflection of where Christianity has sunk in our generation. It makes sense that a religion totally void of true intimacy and relationship would perceive that correction would come from a nameless, faceless, cybernaut-stranger who doesn't know us from Adam. Challenging one another to receive correction from an internet-ghost or a complete stranger whom we don't even know is the epitome of what American Christianity has become.
The problem with the mentality that a person can "bring correction" over the internet is that it's just plain unlikely that ANYONE will receive it. Why should they? There is no way in the world that the person who is bringing the correction could know the heart of the person they're correcting. All they are really correcting is a phrase or group of words to which they have inserted a tone and attitude. The majority of the time, when the Lord brings correction in anyone's life, it comes through a person who is already in a deep relationship with the one being corrected. A family member, a close friend or a brother and sister in the Lord who knows your heart will almost always be the one who brings correction. Just as I would never allow a stranger in the mall to discipline one of my children, God is not in the habit of calling upon someone you have no relationship with to administer discipline to you. God knows each of our hearts and He knows exactly what it would take for each one of us to receive a change of heart. With Him, it's not about pointing out our wrongs. That's not what He does. He celebrates our rights. I think most people's idea of correction comes from an upside-down understanding of the heart of God.
It's particularly difficult for someone who is in the spotlight of ministry. When you have written a handful of books and dozens of articles and you have sermons all over the internet and thousands of audio CDs across the world, it's amazing how many people feel "called of God" to bring correction into your life. The moment you don't submit right away, or get a little upset, you're immediately branded as "un-teachable." The average person may receive a correction from a friend or family member about once every six months, while a person in the spotlight receives it about 40 to 50 times per day from people he's never even laid eyes on. I find myself answering for comments I made in sermons I preached five years ago in Arkansas or ten years ago in California.
Probably most frustrating thing of all is that I spend the majority of my time answering accusations that aren't even related to truth. People are either accusing me of saying something I never said, or they're rebuking me for not saying something I actually did say. This is almost always the case. Sifting through all the allegations in an effort to separate the legitimate from the illegitimate can be a full-time job. Then to add more stress, I have to deal with the fact that pretty much everyone who is "bringing the correction" honestly and sincerely feels that they have been commissioned by God. They've sincerely prayed about it before writing me. They honestly feel that they've heard from Him and they fully see it as though it's God and them confronting me together. When I don't respond as favorably as they had imagined, they're totally disillusioned and let down by my "arrogant and un-teachable spirit." That's usually when they leave and try to write an article or two about me in an effort to warn others against me. I won't lie to you. It's exhausting!
I think what amazes me most is the amount of people who can't hear from God to save their life, but when it comes to someone else, they mysteriously become Moses incarnate. I am blown away by the amount of spiritual arrogance. In my generation, it would be downright disrespectful to confront someone older than yourself for the purpose of bringing correction. At the very least, it comes across as patronizing and belittling when someone who is in their 20s feels it's their right and place to confront a person twice their age and with three times their experience. I am constantly shocked at how many people in this generation actually feel they have the right to do that. This is not something that I was taught.
I may not agree with Billy Graham on everything, but I would never be so arrogant as to take it upon myself to send him a letter of correction. I can't imagine ever thinking that way. It's disrespectful and bigheaded. It's just not my place. I trust that God can either speak to him directly or through those who are close to him. It wouldn't even cross my mind to think that it was my place to do such a thing. Today, however, I watch in amazement at how frequently people feel the right to confront and correct everyone, with no regard for age or experience. This, in my opinion, is evidence of social illiteracy, and sadly, it is justified in the name of religion.
I also feel that the desire to constantly correct others is evidence of a wave of social illiteracy throughout our nation as a whole. I can be friends with someone for ten years and NEVER ONCE bring correction to them, yet amazingly, today's generation feels the need to rebuke, reprimand and correct people at every turn. The results of this mindset are disgustingly apparent in today's friendships. There is rarely a real and authentic closeness shared with anyone, because everyone has learned to hide themselves away. People have become more concerned with what others say and how they say it, than they are with their own words and life. We are a generation of control-freaks, and I believe that our modern Christian mentality of bringing correction has been greatly influenced by this fact.
I have found through experience that when God brings correction to me, I am left feeling amazingly excited about it. There is almost never a feeling of embarrassment, guilt or shame for having been wrong. He has a way of doing it that actually makes me happy I was wrong. In fact, every time He has corrected me, it comes out looking like that. It's always a better thing He shows me. The truth He brings to me in those moments is always so much better than what I thought it was, that I actually look forward to being corrected by Him. It's always an exciting experience. His correction bears no resemblance to what we commonly call correction. I have not once walked away from the Lord after having been corrected by Him with a limp or with my head low. God's correction comes in the form of encouragement, NOT criticism. This is the primary difference between what I see with Christians today and how God generally works in our lives.
A pretty good way to tell whether or not you actually were commissioned by God to bring correction to a person is to assess whether or not it worked. Did they receive it? If they didn't, there is about a 90% chance that it's because you weren't the one to bring it. I have found that when something comes from God, people almost always get it. In Scripture, almost every time a person received correction by God, they got it. God has a way of doing it at just the right time, in just the right tone, with just the right words and in just the right way. If the person to whom you brought correction didn't receive it, BLAME YOURSELF! If your words were divinely-inspired, they most likely would have landed right in the heart of the person you spoke them to. The only accounts that I can remember in Scripture where someone didn't receive correction from God is when they were not in the family of God.
Today, however people think that they are divinely commissioned to safeguard topics from bad people. Correction today is about letting someone know that they're wrong on behalf of the topic at hand. Correction in God's heart is always on behalf of the person.
I think the biggest reason why so many people don't receive modern-day correction is because it almost always comes from someone who doesn't give a rat's ass about them as a person. It rarely comes from someone who truly knows and loves them. Today we are more concerned with right or wrong than we are with loving one another. My advice to people is this: if you don't love the person, keep your mouth shut. If you don't know a person, keep your mouth shut. If you are not standing right in front of the person, eye to eye, face to face, and you don't already have an established relationship with that person, keep your mouth shut!
This is a good rule of thumb that I hope all Free Believers memorize. If anyone, after having spent time with you, walks away feeling worse then they did before spending that time with you, IT'S NOT FROM GOD! The message does not need to be safeguarded. God's heart is for people first and foremost. In about 99% of the cases that any of us feel that we should bring correction to another person; we're wrong ourselves. The majority of the time that someone wants to bring correction to another person, they are correcting something that the other person never said to begin with. I have found that the "corrector" almost always has gotten the wrong idea about what the other person said. It's just easier to keep our mouths shut and trust in God.
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Darin, Another excellent post! I have recently experienced this from people both whom know me and don't regarding my family and my leaving the IC after so many agonizing years and abusive events. These people for the most part have no idea of what we went through only that "We needed to be in church!"
My daughter brought a couple of books to my work for me to drop off at the library for her. My daughter believes some things definitely not acceptable in Christian Circles. She is a grown up and some things all you can do is pray and hope. A co-worker came in and saw the books on my desk. I hadn't even looked at them. She told me that it was an abomination for me to read those books or even be associated with the books beliefs. She said it was clearly in the Bible. She quoted scripture for 10 minutes. I responded raising the dead..it was in the Bible..had she raised any dead today? (wrong I know.) She basically said I was going to hell. She told me this (she said) in Love. She barely knows me...knows nothing of my life or circumstances. She just assumed...Typical of Correction in Love..
I recall a passage in the Bible that says we are to submit humbly to our spiritual leaders as they watch for our souls. We are to honor spiritual authorities. Darin I have always considered you a spiritual authority and to be honest people who insist on correcting you are in defiance of what the Bible teaches. From what I read and what you say I see a lot of passive aggressive rebellion against the spiritual authorities. I was tuaght that if I had a problem with a spiritual authority I don't HAVE to listen to him. It seems to me that this is a battle of ego and pride to show each other up. Didn't you know? Everyone's personal god agrees with THEM perfectly!
Sorry, this thing is rollin around in my head. A smattering of thoughts. This reminds me of a cartoon I saw where the wife was saying to her husband "honey, its late, come to bed." And the husband says"I can't. There's something wrong on the internet." The anonymity of the Web can cause us to say things we might not otherwise say to someones face. I wonder if that reveals more about what lies in the mind of the people we often talk to. Ever hear anyone say Christians are extremely judgemental? Last thing. Is it a matter of wording? What if we said I don't agree, instead of your wrong?
Darin, I hope this doesn't come off wrong but there is something I must correct in what you said... Just kidding. Nah, I agree. The lack of relationship on the Web, causes things to be very objective, analytical and critical. Well wait a second, there is something I'm curious about... The part about knowing if you are the one based on whether the person receives it. I think the OT prophets would fail this test, wouldn't they? Ha! How many husbands and wives would fail this test! Ha!, ladies can I get an amen?
Forgot to say -- Isn't there a verse about "Speaking the truth in LOVE?" I that this is not even just saying 'speak lovingly' but that there needs to be a real love relationship (not just a theoretical one) before one can 'speak the truth to one another.'
You are so right. I don't know what 'generation' you are from, but I am 40 and I think this has been going on for 30 + years. They used to have to write book and magazine articles against each other, or get on the radio. Now the internet makes it easier. Think of all the ministries who have begun or changed their goals completely to 'opposing error' in someone's ministry, with little positive work of any kind. Cult watch groups have expanded to 'correct' any doctrinal bent besides their own. No matter what your background,there is a group dedicated to labelling YOU as in a cult. Apparently we don't trust the Lord to teach his own. Of course it is scary how many Chrisitians just seem to believe whatever they are told -- but that's another topic.
Well said! I think the biggest problem is that most people who SAY they are Christian do so because the go to a Christian church every once in a while or they aren't Jewish, Muslim, etc. They may have even raised their hand and walked the isle. You can't expect people who have not made any change to their life to actually be willing to be heald accountable... to anyone, much to the Savior. I think you would be very interested in seing what my pastor posted. http://mssc54.wordpress.com/ God's richest blessings to you. M
Uhh. Umm. Yeah..., yeah... You're right, you're right... ;-)
I have a friend who was devastated when a 'committed leader' corrected her by saying she had character faults, without saying what those faults were, and refused to do so. My friend had trusted this leader and shared much of her life with him and his family. Needless to say, she left and even left the country, she's finding it difficult to trust anyone or make new friends or join a new church. Of course she had 'character faults', but then we all do, and who gave this 'leader' the right to correct her? Unfortunately we've all learned (been taught) to look to leaders to do correcting when other people irritate us, instead of learning to face the problems ourselves. Then leaders think they ought to do it because the people are accountable to him/her. Complicated and controlling.
Hey Darrin, good post. I'm sorry that you have to experience such tripe every day. My heart goes out to you - I don't know if I would be able to cope with such arrogance being vomited my way every day.
Hey Darrin... It's sad to think that we (fellow believers) can't be trusted to God Himself.. i.e. we feel the NEED to correct. I love a good discussion and I'm one who doesn't always agree with what another may believe or say (even myself at times )... However, as the old saying goes... there may be three opinions, yours, mine and the correct one.
This is about reason #3 why I quit blogging after 4 years. Too hostile out there (the christians I mean- unfortunately). I've probably done it myself too :(. A better thing we can do- remind others that they are loved.
Thanks again Darin for a great article! It is right on for me.I have been at both ends of the correction many times. I am working very hard to control the urge to correct others. Also, I notice that many times I when have been corrected, the other person did not even know they were correcting me. They just said or did something that stroke a chord with me without them knowing it. Those times I am 100% certain that the correction came from Papa!
Thanks for writing Darin, we needed to hear this! I've had almost total strangers correct me at church without knowing squat about me. It doesn't help, it hurts. I think the worst was when I was really struggling with wounds someone had inflicted, wanting sympathy, or counsel on how to approach the situation, or something healing...the pat answer for sharing how someone has hurt you at IC is, "Remember the Bible says, if you don't forgive them, your heavenly father won't forgive you!"
Darin, this is a great blog! As you know, I've also had problems along these lines. I've already posted this on my website and I'll be posting it on my blog in its entirety. Anyone who comments on blogs and forums need to read this.
i liked some wise stuff Karl Barth wrote about this (wayne jacobsen posted this some time ago): http://lifestream.org/blog/2008/08/20/dealing-with-criticism
When I left my last church, I wrote a letter to the pastor to tell him why I was leaving. As a matter of procedure, he forwarded it to the senior pastor and the president of the elder board. The senior pastor was very kind and sympatheic, and invited me in to talk to him. I accepted that invitation. The elder, who had met me ONCE for five minutes, delivered a very harsh rebuke that left me weeping on my keyboard. I've found out since then that this "leader" has done this to others. I will not return to this church because I cannot submit to this man's authority. Great post, Darrin. You've called it again!
The more "correcting" you do, the stronger a Christian you're perceived to be. This behavior is celebrated and Amen'd to the highest because it's a sign of maturity and growth in the faith. {Sigh} Honestly, this is how they see Jesus. This is what they thought He did. They don't recognize him loving anybody, that's just silly. They only see Him correcting so what they're doing to you is their greatest imitation of Jesus...minus all the genuine love. In reality what they're doing is pure violence to what Jesus lived, stood and died for. With all these Little Jesuses running around we're sure to attain perfection some day, right? Frankly Darin I'm amazed that anyone can read your body of words and thoughts and still approach you in such a manner. It's religiosity run a muck.
I've been getting a taste of this type of correction on my blog lately. Basically, I'm ignoring it as the person won't even give a name and attributes to me things that I never said or meant. This is a great post. Thanks Darin.
Thank you for this. I especially was touched by your words here: "God is not in the habit of calling upon someone you have no relationship with to administer discipline to you. God knows each of our hearts and He knows exactly what it would take for each one of us to receive a change of heart. With Him, it's not about pointing out our wrongs. That's not what He does. He celebrates our rights. I think most people's idea of correction comes from an upside-down understanding of the heart of God." I believe "correction" IS a Religion of it's own. In essence, it's based upon FEAR (that the person one is correcting won't 'get' the Truth) & also ARROGANCE & CONTROL. Darin, again thank you, I needed it. Keep on, brother. I love you. Blessings, ~Amy :) http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.c